Tip Number One. Take full responsibility for your choices. Know your own body, ideas and values. Know what feels comfortable or uncomfortable and what brings you pleasure. Be sure to watch for the effects of your words and actions on others.
Tip Number Two. Use a good decision making tool, like *STAR*: Stop, Think, Act and Respond. It is a simple way to make a careful and good decision. It will help you decide what you want to do next.
Tip Number Three. Practice what you want to say with a relative, close friend, or trusted adult, or practice in a mirror. Practice is the best way to build self-confidence.
Tip Number Four. Be clear about your goals and aim your expectations high. At the same time always set realistic limits for yourself.
Tip Number Five. When talking to a friend or possible sexual partner, speak clearly, be direct and firm, and use "I" messages. You may say something like, "Joel, I feel upset when you act that way and pressure me into doing something I do not feel ready to do with you."
Tip Number Six. Talk with a possible sexual partner about your sexual limits and protection before you begin to get involved in any physical touch. It's a lot harder to talk about it in the "heat of the moment" than before you start.
Tip Number Seven. Begin talking about sexuality in a neutral place, not the bedroom or in the car on a date. Try to find a place where you can have privacy and where you both can feel as comfortable as possible to say what you mean.
Tip Number Eight. Use entertainment to help talk about sexuality. Television shows, music videos, popular songs, books and magazines are a good way to begin to talk about sexuality with a friend, parent or possible dating partner.
Tip Number Nine. Be a good listener. Let the other person speak without interrupting them. Ask questions if you don't understand what he or she is saying. Keep eye contact and respond after they are done talking.
Tip Number Ten. Be a good communicator. Be clear about your feelings and limits, try to understand the other person's point of view, work to solve problems, and use a positive response like a smile or an OK touch.
Tip Number Eleven. Avoid communication breakdown. Try not to yell, or call people names. Stay away from negative messages like frowning and interrupting.
Tip Number Twelve. Avoid alcohol and/or other drugs. It is hard enough to talk about this stuff. Being drunk or high only makes it harder and might keep you from making healthy choices for yourself.
Tip Number Thirteen. Get the information you need to communicate about sexuality. It is important to talk about sexuality because you are worth it. Your life is worth it. Remember, if you do not feel ready to express your sexuality with a partner, don't do it.
